Trust Me- On Confidence

     One of the most important types of Confidence is Trust. Trust can be the single factor most relevant to the success or failure of anything. It’s true for business, relationships, school and for growing into our full potential. Trust is a multiplier; alone it’s not enough, but it’s presence or a lack thereof will seriously enhance or inhibit the results of the rest of the factors. I’ll explain more what I mean later in this chapter but, for now, suffice it to say that Trust is ultimately important and that it is something that we can and should develop. It’s why we spend so much time developing Blackbelts from the inside out” in their early phases of Basic Training and Phase One of our Blackbelt Leadership Program. Students must have Trust, in both themselves and their Blackbelt Leaders, before they can develop the rest of the superpowers and go on to become Blackbelt Leaders, with the mental, physical and spiritual powers thereof.

   So what is Trust? Simply put, Trust is Confidence. When we trust someone, we trust in their Character and in their Competence. When we speak of Character, we are referring largely to the other intrinsic values that a Blackbelt should possess- what we call the Principles of a Blackbelt. These include courtesy, modesty, integrity, perseverance, self control and the indomitable spirit. As pertains to Trust, we must believe that the one we trust has not only good intentions, but the skills required (competence) to do whatever it is that they say they will do for us. For example, we want to know that our Doctor not only means well, but has sufficient knowledge and experience to actually help us; in this and in most examples, the intentions are not enough.

  Before I proceed to discuss more about how we develop Trust in ourselves and others, I want to take a minute to amplify the intentions and results distinction that I just made:

1. As said by many wise men before me, we have a tendency to judge ourselves on our intentions and others on their results. Beware this tendency.
2. Intentions are closely related to character. To be trustworthy, we must earnestly want to do our very best. But this fact is in the category of knowledge we philosophers call “necessary not sufficient”. This is to say that we absolutely must want to be our best and do our best at our job or the other thing that we are doing to get results; but also that this desire is not enough. We must also develop the skills to actually get the results.

   Which does lead me to the next point about the best way that we can earn, develop, give and even recover Trust. This truth is in the special field of wisdom that we modern day philosophers also call “simple not easy”. Trust is based on character and competence and the way to get it is to produce results.

  As I said, this is simple but not easy, because not all results are easy to get- and most require hard work and Discipline. The concept is simple though. If I were teaching a group of young students the best way to get Trust from their parents, I would explain that every time they do what they are supposed to do- i.e. their chores, showing courtesy and respect, their homework etc- they cause their parents to Trust them more, with all the recognition and reward that comes with that. You see? It’s so easy a 3rd grader can understand it.

   But the same is true for all of us for all of our lives. Rather we are talking about Trust for our boss, from our employees, for or from our spouse, our kids, our students, etc., results are the fuel that feeds the fire that creates Trust. The more results, the greater the Trust. The greater the Trust, the greater the results. Trust is a self fulfilling prophecy. So is lack of trust by the way, but let us focus on the positive version of this example for this study.

  When we have Trust, in our dojo, our family, our ministry or in any other organization, we can accomplish great things. With Trust, we get things done more quickly, better, and even have more fun. Where there is no trust, this is harder. 

  I’ll write more about this in the next couple of days, and I am also teaching it as our lesson of the week in the classroom. I’ll record some podcast on it too. You can subscribe to the Meditations On Mastery Podcast at Apple or wherever you get your Podcast, or you can find them https://tampakravmaga.com/podcasts.

   For now I’d like to close with a quick summary about Trust:

1. Trust is one of the most important elements of Confidence.
   1. Trust in yourself.
   2. Trust in others.
2. To be maximally effective, we need Trust in our relationships, our organizations and with all those we work with.
3. To gain Trust from others, do what you say you will. Every time we deliver on our commitments, people trust us more. Every time we don’t they trust us left. It’s like a Trust account. The goal is to make many more deposits than withdrawals.
4. To give Trust, give it. I like to trust people as much and as far as they can go. This is how we EmPower them. It’s one of our secrets of Blackbelt Leadership development. As we trust people more and more with greater and greater challenges, and they experience greater and greater successes, they are empowered more.  The secret is to help them succeed first!
5. We gain the ability to trust ourselves in the same way as we gain trust from others. Every time we fulfill our commitment to ourselves we trust ourselves more. 

I’ll teach more on the secret sauce of how to empower yourself and others by creating more and more Trust and Confidence in the next days, blogs and chapters.

  For now pick ONE commitment you’ve made that you are going to go attack today and go do it.

Bonus points if it’s something you often let yourself down on. 

                  Do it! 

You’ll be glad you did.

  Trust me.

Grand Master Stephen Del Castillo
7th Degree Blackbelt, MBA

Founder & Chief Master Instructor, KMMA

Author, Meditations On Mastery