The Most Liberating Leadership Lesson I’ve Ever Learned

Most people don’t want to hear this lesson.

   Truthfully, there are days I don’t want to hear it either.

But over the years, I’ve come to believe it may be one of the most powerful leadership lessons I’ve ever learned.

The lesson is this:

  Extreme ownership.

Not because everything is your fault.

   Because ownership gives you power.

For years, whenever there was an area of my life that wasn’t where I wanted it to be, I could usually find a reason.

• I was too busy.
• The economy was tough.
• The timing wasn’t right.
• Someone else dropped the ball.
• Life got in the way.

And sometimes those reasons were even true.

   But eventually I realized something.

Focusing on what I couldn’t control never improved my situation.

   Focusing on what I could control almost always did.

If my health wasn’t where I wanted it to be, I had to ask:

“What habits have I consistently practiced to create this result?”

If my business wasn’t where I wanted it to be, I had to ask:

“What actions have I consistently taken—or failed to take—to create this result?”

If a relationship wasn’t as strong as I wanted it to be, I had to ask:

“Have I invested the time, energy, attention, and appreciation that relationship deserves?”

Even when circumstances aren’t our fault, our response is always our responsibility.

     That realization changed everything for me.

And since then, for hundred of my students too!

Because ownership isn’t about blame.

   Ownership is about growth.

Ownership is about recognizing that while we may not control everything that happens to us, we always control how we react to it (that’s one of our KMMA Blackbelt Leadership Principles btw).

Another one of our Blackbelt Leadership principles is consistency.

   The truth is that most success isn’t created by one heroic act.

It’s created by small actions repeated consistently over time.

   A student becomes a Blackbelt by consistently attending class.

A family becomes stronger by consistently investing in one another.

A leader becomes more effective by consistently learning, growing, and improving.

And a person transforms their life by consistently making better choices.

None of us are perfect.

   I certainly am not.

But every result in our lives contains feedback.

   Every challenge contains a lesson.

Every setback contains an opportunity to learn, adapt, and improve.

The question isn’t “Whose fault is this?”, but rather “What can I do today to create a better result tomorrow?”

     That’s where growth begins.

That’s where leadership begins.

And that’s where Blackbelts are made.