I guess we all do.
That’s why I feel OK sharing this message with you.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, or you’re new to my blogs and emails, I write for you and I write for me.
I know that life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to it.
I teach the principles and techniques of self control.
And, most of the time, I practice what I teach.
As relates to this particular failure, I was feeling a little overwhelmed.
I had fallen way behind on the missions that I had to accomplish and still had several big rock appointments that I could not miss, but still had to accomplish the two things that I had missed, and had to do it all before “contact time”, when my job is to serve my current and future students, and i had a couple can’t drop big rock business appointments then too- in addition to one in my important role as a husband and a grandfather.
So all that is just the circumstances; my reaction should be informed by and to address all that, but not controlled by it.
What I should have done was calmly and confidently made decisions and deconflict things to either get it all done, through delegation or some other productive solution, or chose to move something.
But in the process of that something else happened that I allowed to bother me, mainly because I was already frustrated with all of that.
And then I did what I should never do. I got angry and acted poorly. I let my emotions control me.
I share all of this in case it’s ever happened to you.
I expect it probably has.
Worst part is that I let it out a little on the last person I should have.
Fortunately, not bad or anything; no insulting or blaming or any other more destructive behavior thank God.
But I did leave home with my wife able to perceive I was upset and frustrated. I am sure that my frustration only added to her own. She had all kinds of things she had to do today too.
The most important thing we can do is control our thoughts, emotions, actions, reactions and what we say to others.
These are Blackbelt Leadership powers of self control.
Yet, even knowing this and even after developing the powers over many years we can fail sometimes.
On the brightside, here is what I did about it:
I kissed my wife goodbye and didn’t say anything hurtful or harmful. I told her I’d see her tonight.
On the way into work, I processed everything that happened, reframed my thoughts about what had happened and pre-framed my thoughts about what had to happen next. I took control of my thought and emotions to create a better day.
I took responsibility for all of it. I got to work and the first thing I did was send an apology to Barbara explaining all the mistakes that I had made this week that had led to the situation today and reaffirmed to her that none of it was her fault and that I appreciate her and everything she is doing to support me, and with me for us to accomplish our roles and goals.
I wrote this blog and now I need to jump on my next meeting!
It will be a great day!
I wrote this as the final part of processing what happened so far towards getting on with what has to happen next.
I hope that this is helpful to you in some way the next time that you fall.
Stephen Del Castillo
P.s. ok first meeting down and I have half an hour before the next one. I will produce a lot in a little time and after that one get out to do the two things that I should have got done this morning!
P.s.s. I have already applied PARI to all that caused this stress this day. PARI is one of our Blackbelt Leadership tools that creates CANI (constant and neverending improvement) and helps us learn from our mistakes so that we perform better the next time. It stands for Plan, Act, Review and Improve. I will be taking actions this very day to make sure this very day doesn’t happen the same way again. I have a new plan. Back to PARI. 🙂
I am writing this Wednesday by the way.
You’ll be getting it Thursday morning.
Make it a great day!
If you’re a student, remember the stripe and belt test is next week!
If you’re a Blackbelt Leadership student, see you at the Leadership Awards dinner tomorrow night!
TampaKravMaga.com and Krav Maga Martial Arts have been empowering lives through the martial arts in the Tampa Bay area for 20 years!
Founded in 2000 by Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo, a 7th degree Black Belt and Sr. Master Instructor, Krav Maga Martial Arts and Karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need – specialized for their age group – for school excellence and later success in life.
Krav Maga Martial Arts Adult Krav Maga training is a complete adult self defense, fitness, and conditioning program for adults who want to learn real world self defense, lose weight, and/or get (and stay in shape).
If you have any questions about our program, or would like to go ahead redeem your 2 weeks FREE, you can call us anytime at 813-547-6368 or visit our Krav Maga Martial Arts website.
About Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo: Grandmaster Del Castillo is the founding Master Instructor of Krav Maga Martial Arts and has been empowering lives in Pasco and Hillsborough Counties since October of 2000. He is a 7th degree Blackbelt, MBA, author, mentor and success coach, a US Army Veteran and a proud father and grandfather. He is married to Ms. Barbara Del Castillo who helps him run the school. Grand Master Del Castillo began his training in the early 80’s and has high level blackbelts in Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Premier Martial Arts and Krav Maga Martial Arts as well as experience in kickboxing, Jeet Kune Do and Jiujitsu. He has high level instructor certifications from BBSI, IKMF, and KMG and has been featured in numerous Martial Arts publications and also Success magazine. He was a competitive sport karate and American Kickboxing instructor until he enlisted in the US Army where he served in the 82nd Airborne Division, where he won an Army Green to Gold scholarship and proceeded to ROTC and the University of Tampa. He was commisioned in 1992 and went on to serve in Germany with the 3rd Infantry Division and then in several other posts in the US until he left military service to pursue his dream of creating KMMA in 2000.
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