People say that respect is earned;
but I believe respect is learned.
Unfortunately, we see far too little of it in the world today.
Many youth are disrespectful towards their elders, and even their parents.
Many adults treat each other with disrespect.
Most people recognize the problem, but I always say “you’re either part of the solution or parft of the problem”.
While it’s true that modern media, including TV and music, don’t help- if our children are misbehaving, it’s our fault.
We need to as a society recognize that children do what they are taught.
But there’s a secret.
They aren’t taught by what we say, they learn from what we do.
As the great Philosopher Albert Schweitzer said, example is not just the main thing but the only thing in influencing others.
This is one of the reasons that we teach the magical language of respect;
we teach our students that the language of respect is magical because when we give respect, we get respect- and that is pretty magical.
Some will argue that it’s not true that we get respect simply by giving it and, in some cases this is true.
Obviously people who are intrained in the magic sometimes will respond disrespectfully.
But I guarantee two things:
- there is a better chance of getting respect back when we first give it and,
- people learn by example, so the demonstration of respect as the stimulus is far more likely to get a response that is respectful as well (sometimes even if the other person doesn’t realize it).
We take the teaching of respect very seriously.
It is one of the 7 Blackbelt Leadership Principles for Life & Leadership (the sub-title of my forthcoming book).
It’s also why students learn the 7 Words of Respect in our Basic Training Course before they’ll even be considered for Blackbelt Training.
And of course this doesn’t mean that the children always speak and act with respect:
- The formation of new habits takes time. We will remind a student as many times as it takes to speak respectfully. It’s no different from reminding the student to keep their hands up all the times we’ll have to do that.
- We don’t act respectfully 100% of the time either; how can we expect a higher standard from them.
Action steps to help the child, children, or even adults in your life act more respectfully:
- Lead by example. Try to catch yourself when you are setting less than the right example and fix it. For bonus effectiveness, let your student (the person you wanna lead) know you just did. They’ll be impressed and learn more.
- Reenforce positive behavior with praise more than you do negative with critique. Try to catch them doing something right. i.e. “i noticed the way you used your words of respect with me just now. I am improessed and I really appreciate that! Keep up the great work and you will be a great Blackbelt one day!” (well, that last part for students training)
- Let is help. If you’re not a student yet, you should try us out. If you are, reenforce the lessons you see the Sensei giving in class and use them- tell your student you will let Sensei know how respectful he’s been at home, and/or write it down on their Acts of Discipline Character worksheet!
- Finally, be patient! Remember The Law of the Process (another of the 7 Blackbelt Leadership Principles): Excellence Happens Daily But Not In A Day. (Thank you to John Maxwell who I got this one from many years ago by the way. I am grateful to he and all the great leaders who have inspired my work.)
Empowering Lives To Live & Lead,
Grand Master Stephen Del Castillo
TODAY’S GIFT FROM ME TO YOU ON DAY TWO:
Founded in 2000 by Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo, a 7th degree Black Belt and Sr. Master Instructor, Krav Maga Martial Arts and Karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need – specialized for their age group – for school excellence and later success in life.
Krav Maga Martial Arts Adult Krav Maga training is a complete adult self defense, fitness, and conditioning program for adults who want to learn real world self defense, lose weight, and/or get (and stay in shape).
If you have any questions about our program, or would like to go ahead redeem your 2 weeks FREE, you can call us anytime at 813-547-6368 or visit our Krav Maga Martial Arts website.
About Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo: Grandmaster Del Castillo is the founding Master Instructor of Krav Maga Martial Arts and has been empowering lives in Pasco and Hillsborough Counties since October of 2000. He is a 7th degree Blackbelt, MBA, author, mentor and success coach, a US Army Veteran and a proud father and grandfather. He is married to Ms. Barbara Del Castillo who helps him run the school. Grand Master Del Castillo began his training in the early 80’s and has high level blackbelts in Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Premier Martial Arts and Krav Maga Martial Arts as well as experience in kickboxing, Jeet Kune Do and Jiujitsu. He has high level instructor certifications from BBSI, IKMF, and KMG and has been featured in numerous Martial Arts publications and also Success magazine. He was a competitive sport karate and American Kickboxing instructor until he enlisted in the US Army where he served in the 82nd Airborne Division, where he won an Army Green to Gold scholarship and proceeded to ROTC and the University of Tampa. He was commisioned in 1992 and went on to serve in Germany with the 3rd Infantry Division and then in several other posts in the US until he left military service to pursue his dream of creating KMMA in 2000.
The Krav MagaMartial Arts Headquarters is in Lutz, FL at 1900 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., 33549. Krav Maga Martial Arts serves Lutz, Land O’ Lakes, Wesley Chapel, and surrounding areas.