The worst enemies of success and happiness are negative emotions of all kinds. Negative emotions hold you down, tire you out, and take away all the joy in your life. Negative emotions, from the beginning of time, have done more to harm individuals and societies than all the plagues of history.
I am sharing a very important lesson from Brian Tracy’s book Goals! in classes this week.
The wisdom in it is powerful;
And, like all knowledge, only useful if acted upon.
One of the most important things we can do, if we want to be happy and successful in life, is to free ourselves of negative emotions.
Mr. Tracy contends that emotions like fear, self-pity, envy, jealousy, inferiority and anger are mostly caused by four factors, and I have come to agree.
By removing these four factors, we eliminate negative emotions- and thus make room for positive ones.
- Stop Justifying- Angry people are continually explaining and elaborating on the reasons for their negative emotions. But, when you argue for them, you own them. To eliminate negative emotions from your being, first stop justifying your right to have them.
- Step Rationalizing- When we rationalize, we attempt to give a “socially acceptable explanation for an otherwise socially unacceptable act.” We rationalize to explain away or put a favorable light on our own negative behavior. You cast yourself into the role of the victim, and you make the other person or organization the bad guy. It’s impossible to replace your negative emotions with positive while doing this. Stop rationalizing.
- Rise Above The Opinions Of Others. Most people also get all bogged down worrying about what other people are thinking about them. First of all, each and all of us should have a tight circle of opinions we value; not everyone deserves an opinion about your life. Second of all, as Tracy says, most people would be offended if they understood how little other people actually think of them at all. Most people are too busy with their own lives to have time to worry very much about others.
- Realize That No One Else Is Responsible. “The fourth cause of negative emotions, and the worst of all, is blaming.” When we blame another person, organization, group, or anything or anyone outside of our immediate control for our condition, we paralyze our own ability to improve our condition. Responsibility, or what Jocko Willink calls Extreme Ownership, is the antidote. The mantra “I am responsible” is powerful, affirming and gives us the permission to think the thoughts and take the actions to become better, behave better and to improve our results.
- Identify your biggest source of negativity in your life today? In what ways are you responsible for the situation?
- Resolve to stop blaming anyone else for anything and instead accept complete responsibility in every area of your life. What actions should you take?
- Stop making excuses and start making progress. Imagine that your favorite excuses have no basis in fact and start acting accordingly.
- See yourself as the primary creative force in your own life. You are where you are because of your own choices and decisions. What should you change?
- Resolve today to forgive anyone who has hurt you in any way. Let it go. Refuse to discuss it again. Instead, get so busy working on something that is important to you that you don’t have time to think about it again.
- Decide on one specific action that you are going to take immediately to exert full control over every part of your life.
I want to thank Grandmaster Jeff Smith for gifting me this book recently, and Brian Tracy for writing it.
For me, this particular lesson is a great reminder. I am a student and teacher of Extreme Ownership and the fact that we design our lives by the choices that we make and the actions that we take, that our attitude determines our altitude and that the first step towards any real meaningful accomplishment is to decide……..
But we all need a reminder once in a while, or at least a refresher to stay the course.
So, if this is you and this was edifying, I’m glad.
And perhaps someone else reading this really needed to hear it.
If you struggle with negative emotions, please take the first step by realizing this- you’re not just that way.
You CAN change it.
You can start with the advice in this lesson and eliminate the three enemies.
It won’t be easy; but you can do it.
And we can help.
If you’re not already a student and would like to start on replacing your own negative emotions with some empowering ones, please call us at 813-948-4844 to schedule your free 2 week trial and orientation!
If you are a student and have a personal success story about your progress that you’d like to share, please hit reply and tell me.
I’d love to hear it!
Grand Master Stephen J. Del Castillo
Author, MBA & 7th Degree Blackbelt
Founder & Chief Master Instructor,
Krav Maga Martial Arts
p.s. we’re throwing a party at the dojo Friday night!
We have a youth and family party 5-6:30 and an adult only party 8:30-10!
The theme is “decades” and you are welcome to wear you fave gargb from ther 60’s, 70’s, 80’s or 90’s!
It will be a fun time for all students, guests and community.
I hope you’ll be join us!
Call 813-948-4844 for more info and to RSVP!
Founded in 2000 by Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo, a 7th degree Black Belt and Sr. Master Instructor, Krav Maga Martial Arts and Karate lessons for pre-school children ages 3-6 and elementary age kids ages 7 and up are designed to develop the critical building blocks kids need – specialized for their age group – for school excellence and later success in life.
Krav Maga Martial Arts Adult Krav Maga training is a complete adult self defense, fitness, and conditioning program for adults who want to learn real world self defense, lose weight, and/or get (and stay in shape).
If you have any questions about our program, or would like to go ahead redeem your 2 weeks FREE, you can call us anytime at 813-547-6368 or visit our Krav Maga Martial Arts website.
About Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo: Grandmaster Del Castillo is the founding Master Instructor of Krav Maga Martial Arts and has been empowering lives in Pasco and Hillsborough Counties since October of 2000. He is a 7th degree Blackbelt, MBA, author, mentor and success coach, a US Army Veteran and a proud father and grandfather. He is married to Ms. Barbara Del Castillo who helps him run the school. Grand Master Del Castillo began his training in the early 80’s and has high level blackbelts in Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Premier Martial Arts and Krav Maga Martial Arts as well as experience in kickboxing, Jeet Kune Do and Jiujitsu. He has high level instructor certifications from BBSI, IKMF, and KMG and has been featured in numerous Martial Arts publications and also Success magazine. He was a competitive sport karate and American Kickboxing instructor until he enlisted in the US Army where he served in the 82nd Airborne Division, where he won an Army Green to Gold scholarship and proceeded to ROTC and the University of Tampa. He was commisioned in 1992 and went on to serve in Germany with the 3rd Infantry Division and then in several other posts in the US until he left military service to pursue his dream of creating KMMA in 2000.
The Krav MagaMartial Arts Headquarters is in Lutz, FL at 1900 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., 33549. Krav Maga Martial Arts serves Lutz, Land O’ Lakes, Wesley Chapel, and surrounding areas.