I’m An ***hole Sometimes

Yes, you read that subject line right- I am an… a jerk sometimes.

    As much as I wish it wasn’t true, sometimes I regret the things I say and do.

Sometimes something just comes out and then, later, I feel terrible about what I said.

Can you relate?

  Does that ever happen to you?

Well, if so, hopefully this blog will useful for you.

   When I am feeling down and distraught with myself, for saying or doing something that I didn’t mean to say or do, I reprogram that emotion as quickly as possible with Gratitude.

If you’re a student of Krav Maga Martial Arts, or a follower of me and my work, you know Gratitude is one of the 6 foundations Blackbelt Superpowers.

Here’s how the attitude of gratitude applies to me, and maybe you- perhaps “we”, being a-holes:

1. I am grateful that I feel bad. I’m grateful that at least I have developed a conscious such that, when I behave badly, I feel badly for having done so.

   a. this allows me the awareness to be proactive about it, and hopefully fix it.

   b. I know others that are oblivious to their own short-comings, and I would never want that for me, or anyone i care about for that matter. Worse, I know some who’s attitude is “that’s just the way I am’.

I’d hate to live that way. The very statement connotes a victim mentality in which the person that says it assumes they can’t change for the better. or, perhaps, that they don’t care to. Not sure which would be worst, but I am grateful that I feel badly when I screw up, and that it’s in my power to be better.

Who knows how, who and where I would be today had I thought that way.

2. I am grateful for the years of personal, professional and character development that have helped me to make such mistakes less often. In my natural state, I have a bad temper, and a big mouth. Add this to the fact that, in younger years, I had a low self esteem and was always trying to prove myself in a way that often led to bad behavior. I am grateful that I fell in love with personal and character development, and for all the amazing mentors I have studied under, during my military and martial arts career, and through great books, courses, masterminds and personal coaching.

   All of these led not only to my own personal liberation, through education, by the way- but also to the development of my incredible Blackbelt Leadership Program at KMMA

3. Speaking of my program, I am grateful for the Blackbelt Leadership Principles that inform me when I’ve made a mistake. Of particular note in this situation, I think of 3 of them right away:

   a. 10/90– life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to what happens. This principle applies even when what happened was that we behaved like an… well, you know. It’s what we do about it next that matters most.

   b. circle of control– I can’t do anything about what already happened, but I can do something about what I do next and,

    c. extreme ownership– if it’s to be it’s up to me. I own the fact that I said something I didn’t mean to. I also own the fact that it’s now my job to fix it. And I believe that I can.

By the way, this is true for matters great and small.

    The great may take more work, while the small mishaps are easy; but each and all are our own to control.

By the way, if you’re not a part of my Blackbelt Leadership Program yet, we sure would love to have you.

In it, students become Confident and Competent Blackbelt Leaders, prepared to survive and thrive in any situation, and empowered to lead- where they’re at and into their futures.

You’ll learn to defend yourself, get in great shape, have fun and, yes, even develop the skills to be a hole less and recover more quickly when you do. 🙂

   If you’re not even a student yet, start here.

And if you are a student but not a leadership student yet, just tell Sensei Allie, Sensei John or Sensei Winston that you’re ready to qualify. 

Thanks for reading.

   I’m proud of and grateful for you!

Prepare To Live; Empower To Lead!

Grand Master Stephen J. Del Castillo
Founding Master Instructor, Krav Maga Martial Arts