A Tribute To Barb, On Silent Leadership

Today is my wife’s birthday.

   Ms. Barbara, as she’s known in the dojo, is my partner in business and life, and is a great wife, mother, daughter, and leader.

The latter is what I want to write about today.

  Truth is, I could brag on her a while in any of those roles, but today I want to talk about her silent leadership.

I’ll also be giving a live presentation on the same subject at the CIT (Certified Instructor Training) today.

We’ll record it too, just in case it’s good. cool

                   If so, we’ll get it posted or up as a podcast if you miss it.

Don’t tell Barb by the way; I want it to be a surprise.

She’s visiting my mom at the hospital this morning, but I told her I needed her at the dojo by 1015….

   that’s so we can all yell surprise and sing her happy birthday when she gets there. 🙂

Anyway, I want to talk about Barbara’s leadership.

   You see, many wouldn’t realize what a great leader she is.

She’s not the loud, front stage type that many think of when they think if leadership.

She’s the quiet, behind the scenes kind.

   The kind you may not even realize is leading, or even know is there.

But that’s the point of this tribute, and leadership lesson.

Leadership isn’t about being upfront and on stage, necessarily, though for some of us it is.

But there is another type of leader that leads quietly, from the rear, but is leading none-the-less.

Ms. Barbara has always been one of these and, quite frankly, the wind beneath my wings. (sorry if I just made you think of the song; or you’re welcome- whichever the case may be)…

You see, I believe that leadership is getting someone to do something that they should do, because they want to do it.

    Just telling people what to do is, at best, management.

Forcing people to do something is, at best coercion.

Real leadership is inspiring and empowering someone to do what they should, and to live into their full potential- to be and become the greatest version of themself.

Barb has been that kind of leader, for me, and for so many others in our tribe, and continues to be. 

She has moved from the day to day operations of the school to focus on taking care of our moms, and others, that need her.

   She is amazing in this leadership role too.

She is kind, compassionate, patient and smart.

And, in many of these, she is the bridge-gap for my own deficiencies.

But she continues to lead.

   She may or many not even realize what I am about to say but, based on my own definition of leadership, she has been a leader to me for many years now.

She has inspired me to become a better version of me, and a better leader to those I lead.

She has motivated me to do what I should do, because I wanted to do it.

And through it all, she has always empowered me with love, support, encouragement and assistance.

Today’s her “not gonna tell you’th” birthday. 🙂

   We will also be celebrating our 16 year anniversary married this month.

Join me in saluting her when you see her, and/or when I post this blog at The Official KMMA Facebook page.

And, if you are the quiet introvert type, don’t assume that means you’re not called to leadership.

   Many great leaders are.

Prepare To Live; Empower To Lead!

Grand Master Stephen J. Del Castillo
Founding Master Instructor, Krav Maga Martial Arts

About Grandmaster Stephen J. Del Castillo: Grandmaster Del Castillo is the founding Master Instructor of Krav Maga Martial Arts and has been empowering lives in Pasco and Hillsborough Counties since October of 2000. He is a 7th degree Blackbelt, MBA, author, mentor and success coach, a US Army Veteran and a proud father and grandfather. He is married to Ms. Barbara Del Castillo who helps him run the school. Grand Master Del Castillo began his training in the early 80’s and has high level blackbelts in Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Premier Martial Arts and Krav Maga Martial Arts as well as experience in kickboxing, Jeet Kune Do and Jiujitsu. He has high level instructor certifications from BBSI, IKMF, and KMG and has been featured in numerous Martial Arts publications and also Success magazine. He was a competitive sport karate and American Kickboxing instructor until he enlisted in the US Army where he served in the 82nd Airborne Division, where he won an Army Green to Gold scholarship and proceeded to ROTC and the University of Tampa. He was commissioned in 1992 and went on to serve in Germany with the 3rd Infantry Division and then in several other posts in the US until he left military service to pursue his dream of creating KMMA in 2000.

The Krav MagaMartial Arts Headquarters is in Lutz, FL at 1900 Land O’ Lakes Blvd., 33549. Krav Maga Martial Arts serves Lutz, Land O’ Lakes, Wesley Chapel, and surrounding areas.

See for more information and to order my book, Developing Your Superpower, Meditations on Mastery, Volume 1.

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