Have You Ever Been Discouraged?

  Have you ever been discouraged? You know, that kick in the gut kind of discouraged where it’s hard to just get over it. Sometimes it’s your own fault that whatever happened happened or that whatever didn’t happen didn’t; sometimes it’s someone else’s, and in still other cases it’s the kind of thing that’s no one’s fault at all, and just is. 


  Incidentally, I get especially upset about the one’s I played any part in and, more times than not, we play some part. Because of our Blackbelt Leadership Principle of Circle Of Concern And Circle Of Control, I am pretty good at not getting too worked up over things that I have no control over. But because of the principle of Extreme Ownership, I am also aware that I have some control over most things.


This morning is a great example. In confession I often write for my own benefit as much as yours. I hope my meditations, and this one specifically, serves you well too. If so, at least we will have honored another Blackbelt Leadership Principle that Everything Happens For A Reason And It Serves Me Well. 


     It’s not easy to see how it serves us well all the time by the way. But, if at least we can find the lessons and use them as opportunities to perform better next time, that serves us well.


Oh yeah, you’re probably wondering about my morning. Well, I had been offered this big opportunity that I was very excited about. I’ve actually been looking forward to it since the person in charge told me about it and waiting to hear about when the day would come. It was going to be fun and was perfectly aimed at what I do best. I guess I was kind of expecting some advance notice and planning, but it didn’t work out that way. 


    Turns out my contact called last night while I was teaching and the opportunity was to happen at 9am this morning. I missed the message and I missed the opportunity. By the time I tried to respond this morning it was too late. Not one to miss an opportunity laying down, I even dressed up and showed up; but it was too late.


I won’t lie. I’m bummed. 

  But I am writing to work that out and practice what I preach.


So the question isn’t “why did this happen to me?” (hear sad and powerless voice),

    But rather “why did this happen to me?” (hear inquisitive voice looking to learn and improve).


So here are the areas I must improve upon to make sure I don’t miss a big opportunity again:


  • I will put a plan in place to ensure that I get my phone calls, messages and opportunities as soon as they come in. I thought I’d only missed my cell phone message, wherein I knew I had a weakness; but it turns out upon further reflection my contact had left a message at my dojo too. 
    • So i need to put a plan in place to ensure that someone checks both of these often enough for me so that I get the most important calls in a timely fashion, and the ones that need to be acted upon immediately on time.
      • Add a prompt for when someone wants to get a message directly to me on the dojo phone tree. Then make sure my EA or someone checks it often or there’s a system where they get the transcript of the call right away.
      • Also check or have someone check for me my cell phone messages every night.
      • Be prepared and postured to jump at the right opportunity.
    • While there’s a part of me that purposely doesn’t do business that way, I learned from this experience that I need to be nimble and quick for the right opportunities.


Ok, I feel better now. By working through the problem and solution, I feel like I am controlling what I can control. 

  Hopefully this little meditation will be helpful to you too.


Now off to the rest of a busy day. So much planned.

   And after all, the activity of every day is a gift and opportunity as well.


         Prepare To Live. Empower To Lead.

         Grand Master STephen J. Del Castillo

         7th Degree Blackbelt, MBA

         Founder & Chief Master Instructor, KMMA


Defeat Resistance With Persistence

On dealing with contingency

3 Jan 2020

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of keeping promises to ourselves and promised to share with you today a great exercise for new year goal planning, in case you haven’t done yours yet or in case you’d like to do it even better. I have to give credit where due, by the way, and while I have used many great goal setting systems from many great teachers, the particular exercise I’m going to share with you was shared with me by Alex Judd of Entreleadership. It’s a great coaching program if you happen to be an Entrepreneur looking for one. The book by the same title is a must read.


Back to today, day two of my commitment to writing and to helping me make this my best year ever by helping you to do the same. I was up about 0540 this morning. The alarm was set for 0600 but I awoke so why put oneself through the pain associated with starting another bout of sleep that you will only interrupt before it’s useful. It’s much better to get up and get your day going! Oh, I did my meditation, affirmation, reading and now writing so far by the way. Still got my exercise and visualization to go after this and then in to slay the day. How did you do on your commitments today? Make any yet? None of my business really, unless you want me to help coach you to make this your best year ever but, if yo do, go back and read day one and make the commitment to yourself, and some promises. You can find it on my blog at www.TampaaKravMaga.com.


Anyway, I’m still going to share that goal setting exercise I got from Alex later but, first, I wanted to talk this morning about dealing with contingency. Contingency is what happens when what you planned to happen doesn’t happen and, by the way, that often happens. It’s what we do then that is most important. Today’s big lesson is that

  Life is 10% what happens and 90% how we react to what happens.

As soon as you decide to do something great, or even just to get better, there are going to be a whole myriad of obstacles come against you. These problems will even become the potential fuel for excuses. Remember that all power is formed against resistance and, just like our muscles need progressive overload! to get bigger and stronger, so does our goal getting muscle.

  The secret to us accomplishing our goals is to defeat resistance with persistence!

I’ll send that goal setting exercise later today. For now, please share with me what promises you’re making yourself and what actions you are committing to take, from yesterday’s blog, and what obstacles you’re already or may face so we can make your contingency plan.

Stephen Del Castillo

Founding Master Instructor, KMMA


If you haven’t already subscribed to my free 2020 coaching email list, I hope you will join us.

I am going to send a small email every day, like this one, to inspire and encourage.


I’ll be your coach, and I am in it with you.